......Incomplete is Okay (To: Roopa Ma'am & Tanima di)

This post is dedicated to two people: Tanima di and Roopa Ma'am..........

Tanima di

Tanima di does not even know me......has never met me, has never interacted with me except for some conversations on facebook & the fanpage. Despite that, I must say it is very magnanimous on her part to consider me, a total stranger to get my most basic of messages across to Roopa Ma'am. I might not have been able to explain in words the weird connection I have been living with since the past 18 years of my life, I am only 23.....which means the time I started living with this was when I was 5 years old; a very small kid. My words shall never even come out because I cannot explain it. Even the people I talked to waived off the topic because it sounded strange. One person who put trust in me then was my non-blood related brother Ravi and the second person was Tanima Di. I may not get my answer to the question I have been pursuing since the past 18 years, but Tanima di's acceptance has made me feel good about myself and the experience in itself. Tanima di always tells me not to say thanks because it might not have been a great thing, but if it pertains to a circumstance that has been dominant since past 18 years in my life and the moment for which I had been waiting to grow up to a considerably mature age came because of Tanima di. 

Maybe I would have seen Roopa Ma'am even if she had not been into acting......And you had the goodness to believe in me despite not knowing me at all. I promise you all my goodwill and my Grandpa's blessings for you.... :) :) :)

Roopa Ma'am: 

Wasn't it a different moment altogether  when I realised that I was on the phone with someone on the other end whose existence had been following me since past 18 years without any specific reason????? 

It was more than everything I could compile because it was then I realised how long I had been waiting and it was a bloody long period of 18 years. Now that I was on the phone, I also realised the reasons behind leading an introverted life: just filled by my work, studies and research: Nothing else. I knew because of me staying mostly all alone since my grapndpa's death and grandma's declining mental health. I hardly spoke to a soul except some few people here and there. I told my story to Ravi, my lovely brother and he asked me to be brave for once. I tried, I called, I tried to be brave but it was the gravity of the experience that had shaken me up from head to toe. Roopa ma'am is such a magnanimous personality. I wouldn't even want to write words of appreciation here because there are millions who can express her goodness better than me.......I could not even speak, leave alone writing. But, to see that Roopa ma'am spent her precious time to talk to me for 25 long minutes was more than a flood of overwhelming feeling for me. 

I have never ever spoken to anyone like this and nor has anyone understood my inner picture like Roopa ma'am did. I remember people still considering me a bit off the track because I usually cannot express well, or I cannot talk about how I feel, but Roopa ma'am gave a new meaning to my introverted behaviour in a positive direction. Could anyone else have done that??? I am such a dumb person that I could not even narrate this incident properly to my own mother......Just the superficial parts depicted well.....The core of the conversation was all I can encompass as the meaning of my re-discovery of life. Maybe no one would know it but God does...(Although he just gives the experiences, quite refusing to explain them).

Knowing that Roopa Ma'am and I are on plateaus that are as different as cloud and an ocean, I can thank my God for giving me one experience that partly made me feel good about myself and feel a lot good about God being the constant force and source of inspiration in my lonely existence. Today, I do not want any answers from God like I have been asking him since past 18 years......There might be something pertaining to a level of spirituality that is beyond my intellect....Whatever will happen now will only be God's wish.

It has strengthened my resolve to be a good human first and true to myself before I can ask anyone for anything....